She comes to you upset about something and your brain immediately goes into problem-solving mode.

You listen for a minute, figure out what you think she should do, and give her the solution.

Problem solved.

Or at least that’s how you see it in your mind.

The problem is she seems even more frustrated.

Why?

Because she wasn’t asking you for a solution to her problem. She wanted you to be there with her while she worked through what she was feeling.

One of the things I talk about in Earn Her Back is how a lack of presence can lead to the slow bleeding out of a relationship.

While your intention may have been good, it wasn’t what she needed or wanted from you.

Emotional connection isn’t always about solving the problem as quickly as possible. Sometimes it’s about listening long enough for her to feel understood and heard.

If she repeatedly leaves conversations feeling alone, eventually she may stop coming to you at all.

The key is emotional awareness and its something I dive into in Earn Her Back.

Ask whether she felt like you were actually there with her.

If you want to learn the four areas of emotional awareness and how to build it, grab your copy of Earn Her Back.